The Size Issue

Size - Why does it matter so much to us? Why are so many women today stuck on being a certain size? It's just a number. Or a letter. Or both. But it doesn't make us who we are. It has no effect on our personality.

I am guilty of this as well. I look at the numbers and think I should be that number. Or number/letter combo. I tell the world on this blog that I'm a 32FF/32H. That alone should be a clue - I have 2 different sizes based on the country of origin. But also, I am currently wearing a Lunaire 34G, rather comfortably. It has a snug band and very stretchy cups, which more than accommodates my girls. It's a comfy bra that fits me.

And that should be the point, right? Fit! In my jean drawer right now I have mostly 8s, some 6s, and a 4. I have another pair of size 4 in my closet because they are still a bit too small. Most of my current jeans are hand-me-downs, and I only kept what fit (or what I hope to fit). So, sometimes I wear an 8, sometimes a 10, sometimes a 6, and occasionally even a 4.

Yet I still fall victim to the size issue. This "should" fit me because it's "my size."

I am also petite in my upper half. I have a petite cut dress that still needs a good half inch taken out of the shoulders. So in one way, for tops at least, I have learned (the hard way) that I can't just rely on a "size" to fit me. I cannot buy clothes without trying them on, or making sure they have a great exchange/return policy. It makes shopping torturous sometimes. I'll try on 10 things and maybe, if I'm lucky, 1 will fit, or at least fit well enough.

But our society pushes the size issue on us. All those fad diets and diet gimmicks. All the body snark. All the "you must be such and such" shoved down our throats. We are conditioned to feel good or bad based on our size or perceived size.

In actuality, if we focus less on the numbers and more on proper fit, we look and feel much better. I am going to try to focus more on finding a good fit, in all my clothes, no matter what size I end up getting. A good fit makes me happy and comfortable. A good fit looks good on me. A proper fit makes me look slimmer and taller. A proper fit can make me look fit. Ha.

I challenge you to think about fit the next time you go shopping for clothing or shoes. Don't focus on a number or letter or combination thereof, but spend the time to find a proper fit and don't worry about the size. 

Companies Really Can Learn (Maybe? We Hope So?)

I admit I'm a little jaded when it comes to new online bra retailers. I've seen too many that push their wares and then don't have my size, even if they carry my brands. When I first saw the add for True&Co., I didn't have high expectations.

What is True&Co.? It's an online retailer that offers to send you 5 bras (and 5 other items) for a deposit. You then try them on, then log on and let them know which ones you want to keep. You print a label to send back the ones you don't want, and there you have it - bras tried on at home. Great idea, no?

Sure enough, they carried my brands in up to an F cup. I was still a G when I found them. Le sigh, no luck. I wasn't too sure of their "fit quiz" either. You answer questions in a little quiz and it seems to suggest the same bra size you entered, or maybe a cup size difference. Then I read some reviews of the company from other bra bloggers, and they seemed to all feel the same way.

So what changed my mind? Let's blame it on my bra fairy. I have a friend who brings me bra luck. She's with me when I find awesome deals on bras, or even just find my bras in our city. She sent me the link to Jockey bras. And yesterday, she sent me a link from True&Co. about their new offering - sports bras. She is my bra fairy.

At first I laughed it off, without even clicking the link, but it was stuck in the back of my head. So I clicked on it and filled out the fit quiz, yet again. To my surprise, when I entered the size of my of favorite bra in question 3 (32FF), I got a message informing me that they do not currently carry my size, but are looking to expand their range. I was asked to enter my email address for updates on their stock.

Wow. Totally unexpected. I actually started an account with my real email address and signed up for info on whenever they stock my size. They linked me to a post where they talked about wanting to expand their offerings (although I can't find it right now). I commented with my favorite brands and all the sizes I've worn in them.

I was impressed. So I tweeted about it linking them, and they thanked me in a reply tweet. Ok, good.

I then found out I had previously started an account with my spam email address (the one I use for stuff I expect to spam me). I re-did the fit quiz based on my bra size before I first got fitted. I answered the questions as I would have then, to the best of my memory. Let's see what this gives me, right?

I was a little disappointed here. They corrected the cup size by 1 or 2, but not the band. None of the questions really seemed to pinpoint if I had a proper band size or not. So I decided they needed my feedback. (This NYT thing must have gone to my head, no?)

I emailed them:

Out of curiosity, I started 2 accounts on your site. My main account, which is linked to this email address, has my current size and fit. I was glad to see that you are looking to expand your size range!
For my other account, with my other email address, I took the fit quiz as I would have answered back before my first real fitting. Back then I was wearing a 38DD. Your fit quiz was suggesting 38Fs, 38Es, and 40DDs, but a real fitting found me to be a 36G.

Your quiz was close on the cups, at least trying to get me into a bigger cup size, but nothing indicated that I was in the wrong band. I remember always tugging my bra band back into place as it would ride up my back. A simple question about bands staying in place or moving, either up or down, could help with that.

I just wanted to give this feedback because, like I said above, I'm excited to see you expanding your size range. The area I live in requires online shopping for bras in my size, and the ability to give them a try and easily return those that don't would make life easier. Having trained and worked as a bra fitter, I love seeing opportunities for all women to get a proper fit.

Thanks for taking the time to read my feedback!


And today, I got a response:

Hi Charla,

Thank you for taking the time to offer us this feedback! We're definitely working to improve our quiz so that we can get better at diagnosing the correct band size. If you do ever have questions for us about fit we're happy to chat with you over the phone, since sometimes we do need more information than the quiz currently collects to make the best possible recommendation.

As we continue to improve we really appreciate any and all suggestions you have for us, particularly pertaining to fit and what did or didn't work for you. Keep an eye out as we expand our range as well, since we do hope to be able to fit you better going forward.

Have a great 4th of July!

Best,
Molly

True&Co


I think that's a pretty damn good response. And it's real and personal. I must say, I'm pretty impressed. Of course, much like Jockey Bras, I cannot yet use their service. However, my Bra Fairy can, and is considering it. Should she check it out, I will get her to do a review for me. (She has one pending on Jockey, BTW.)

So? My point? Companies can learn. Companies can grow with their market base. And we should support the companies that are trying. I think this one is trying. Check them out. Let me know what you think.

Review: Jockey Bra Fit Kit

UPDATE: It turns out they have 2 different websites from which you can order these bras: the one below, and this one. This new site lets you sort by size, and my size is NOT listed. I will have to rely on my friends, if any of them wish to purchase a bra, to get a review of the actual bra fit and comfort. And yes, I am headed to their facebook page to ask about this. And probably ask for a refund, since they don't even make my size, apparently. It took me playing around on my new laptop (yay mac!) tonight to realize this. The site linked in my original post below just says my size is out of stock.


My friend tweeted me recently about a new product. She wanted to know what I thought about it. It seems the Jockey Company has gone into bras, but with a different cup sizing system based on “volume” and with 10 cup sizes. They are also doing a different kind of “wire” for the underwire that is supposed to be more comfortable. Of course I was intrigued. You have to pay for the kit, but get a coupon of equal value towards a bra purchase. You can also get a refund if you don’t like it, according to their FAQ.

I bought a kit. They stored everything in a nice mesh bag which would be ideal for washing bras. Kit includes 10 “cups,” a measuring tape, and a brochure with instructions and bra styles.

All in the bag

Out of the bag

Cups 1 and 10 next to each other

The cups are a plastic stuff, with arrows pointing up and a number on each one. You put the breast in the cup, and the one that fits best is your cup size. I noticed the cups were kinda tall for my short torso. I started at the big end and went down. The 10 was obviously big, 9 looked pretty good, and 8 had a little side spillage.  I put a bra on for pics.

A little tall, but best fit

Next is band size. Their measuring tape is simplified and colorful. Basically, each inch section is colored differently from the inch to either side, so you don’t worry about how close it is to what inch. If it falls in the 35 section, you measure at 35. Of course, per tradition, the bra bands are sized in even numbers. I can’t find anything that says what to do if you get an odd band size, like my 31, so I rounded up to 32.

skinny ribs

So, according to Jockey’s sizing, I’m a 09/32. Unfortunately, my size is only available in 2 of their 5 styles. My size is also out of stock in those 2 styles.

Even a place to write it all down

I find it interested that I measure a 9 cup in this system, and my general measurements have a 9 inch difference (31/40). I’m going to ask a couple friends to try the kit as well, one on the smaller end and one towards the middle. I want to see if the “volumetric” fit works like the ratio fit that I use.

I also noticed that, in the 2 styles that carry the full cup range, the top 3 cup sizes were sold out. This makes me think that a lot of women are having something of an epiphany when it comes to bra size. By using numbers instead of letters, Jockey is keeping those women loyal to their bras. It would be nice if they would use a simple letter system (A through I) to help women relate their size to other brands. It would also be nice if they would offer more styles in the full cup range.

On the other end of the spectrum, the same 2 bras that come in my size are the only ones that come in cup size 1. So A cups need an underwire? I suspect it’s more that they don’t expect to sell as many of those bras.

One thing that worries me is that they aren’t relating cup size to band size. I’m not sure how well that will work in real world practice. It’s a great idea, but is my 9 cup with a 32 band going to be the same as someone else who has a 9 cup and, say, a 38 band? Will the underwire be adjusted for that difference? Because, in real practice, a D in a 32 is very different from a D in a 38. The wire, the structure, the fit of the bra have to be adjusted for the band size. Just look at this image from Wellfitting.com.

In general, I like that they are offering women in the US a simple way to fit themselves at home. I like that they didn’t even mention the “add 5” rule. I wish their sizing system was more translatable to the standard system so that women can go from Jockey to other brands, especially with the limited selection of Jockey bras right now. I wish Jockey offered the full cup size range in all 5 bras. And I wish they weren’t out of stock in my size.

When they are back in stock, I will order a bra (no stores anywhere near me) and review that as well. I’ll also update, probably with the bra review, as to how the kit works for my friends and how it compares to the ratio fit method. 

Brand Loyalty?

If you know me, you know I tend to stick with 2 bra brands - Fantasie and Freya. This is partially because they make such a lovely size range, and mostly because they tend to fit me really well. Panache makes a great size range as well, but their bras just don't fit my body that well. Although I did order one of their softcup bras and hey, shouldn't that be here by now?

Anywho. I have been losing weight since I started this blog. I noticed about a month ago that my 32Gs weren't fitting right. The cups were actually too big. I have one 32FF that fit well enough as a G, and it was fitting me really well. So I pulled out the 32FFs I had shoved in a drawer. One of them fits great. The other still bulges a bit on my larger breast, but I have a few more pounds to lose.

So yes, I am officially down to a 32FF. (Disclaimer: I wear my band very tight. It does leave red marks. But I feel like a 34 is sliding around all day. Where was I?

Yes, brands. I recently tweeted (@lifewithRemy) that as a 32FF, I could start wearing 32H in US brands. Then I read on article on The Lingerie Addict (great lingerie blog for all sizes) about knock-offs and design stealing/borrowing. One point it brought up is whether it's OK for a brand to basically copy a popular design for sizes the original maker doesn't offer. I personally like this, and hope the original designer sees that so many people loved the original design.

That all got me thinking about brand loyalty. With as much as I want US brands to offer a larger size range, should I be supporting those companies that I only just now fit into? I have lost 35 pounds since I first started my bra obsession, and I only just now fit into their sizes.

I was never obese, just overweight. I now wear a size 8 in bottoms, but still need a 12/14 on top because my chest is big. If I can lose 35 pounds and still have big boobs, I know they aren't going anywhere. At this point, I don't want them to! I like my chest, even with the trouble of finding clothes that fit. I wouldn't know what to do without them. I wouldn't look right.

After this whole thought process, my heart (yes, that's me choosing heart over brain) says to stick with the brands I already love. My brain rationalized this as well - I'm supporting the brands that I approve of and, hopefully, the brands that are losing my business will someday see that they are missing out.

*side note*
I woke up early this morning to very high winds blowing open my utility doors (outside the house because I live in military quarters). They blew open 3 times between 0530 and 0600, until I duct taped the doors shut. One strip over the seam between the doors and a small strip to reinforce the latch. They stayed shut, but I was not able to get back to sleep. This makes me grumpy. So I got online. I ended up on Zappos.com and decided to check out their bra selection - it sucks. I read reviews on a Le Mystere bra and someone recommended going with the manufacturer sizing. So of course, I went to their site. How could I resist?

Um, yeah. That was a mistake. They told me to measure OVER my bust to get my band size. I said, "Oh, really?" And got my tape measure (and a bra since I'm still in PJs). YEAH. Their sizing says I'm a 36D.

Oh dear baby Jesus. I have not been a 36 since 35 pounds ago. I haven't been a D, or even a DD since High School (14 years if anyone is counting). This was not a good time to visit that page.

I went to their contact email form and ranted: about sizing and sizes offered. Le Mystere, as hyped up by Oprah, offers 2 bras in my size. That's it. Only 2 bras go up to an H cup. Not to mention, when I did try their bras on a few years ago, the bands felt huge. I was a true 34 back then and tried on 32 bands that still felt loose.

So no, I will not ever be recommended that brand. Unless they do a big overhaul.

I will be recommending Fantasie and Freya, because I still LOVE LOVE LOVE them. Panache, too, just not for me as much. By the way, got a new strapless bra from a Panache sub-brand, and for petite women, it is great. Sizing is small in the cup though. And any brands under the Eveden parent company. Even though it's part of Wacoal now. I don't mind Wacoal.

Done for now. 

A DD Is Not As Big As You Think

During my vacation, I gave a bunch of fittings to a family. In total, 3 pre-teens, 2 teens, and 4 women. I must say here that my good friend Alison was wearing the right size. Yay! Her bra was starting to wear out but still fit her very well. 

So, I gave the girls fittings. They were all wearing at least 1 band size too big, and at least 1 was wearing too small of a cup. 

The oldest of the girls measured at a 34DD. She seemed a little horrified at that. But actually, she was very proportionate. She had just enough hip to balance out the bust. 

So when did a DD become "OMG freaking HUGE" instead of just 5 inches? What's that? Yeah. A DD cup is a difference of 5 inches. That's not even half a foot. 

So this post was inspired by that beaufitul, tall, 15-year-old 34DD.  I want her to know that her size isn't huge, it isn't even that big or uncommon. I want her to know that, with the right bra, her breasts will be comfortable, which in turn will make her comfortable with them. If she's not constantly readjusting her bra, she won't draw undue attention to her chest. And, if she is comfortable, it's easier to be confident, which is truly beautiful. 

The right bra will show off her slender, long waist. It will keep her breasts contained and secure (no wardrobe malfunctions). She won't have to worry about embarrassing bulges or uncomfortable poking. And my dearest hope is that she will never hate her breasts the way I once did. 

I hated these horrible things attached to me that caused nothing buy pain and embarrassment. And then I found a comfortable bra in the correct size. My breasts weren't painful anymore. They didn't embarrass me. In fact, I am quite proud of my breasts now. I love my 34Gs (in UK sizing, 34I according to most US size charts). I hope that this gorgeous teenager can learn to love her body as it is. I hope that, with the right bra, she won't be so conscience of her breasts, and will let her talent and intellect shine. And she is a very smart, very talented young woman. Besides, not constantly worrying about your boobs will make anyone's day a little easier. 

So next time you fall into the "OMG they are so HUGE" frame of mind, stop and count to 5. If they're a DD/E. 5 inches isn't that big. Especially next to me ;)

Go Fit Yourself

I can't believe it, but I never did a post about how to find your size! Holy crap something must be wrong with me. So, here's the article I wrote about it. It's online somewhere but not published anywhere. Oh, and my fit tips are for underwires. A soft cup bra will not sit flat against the chest in the center. Enjoy!

How to Fit Yourself in a Bra

Most women have seen the articles, websites, advice, tips, etc. on how to fit a bra and how a bra should fit. I know, it can be confusing. You may be like I was, thinking some of those bra "tips" are more myth than fact. I was wrong, and now I want to keep other women from making the same fitting mistakes I did.

THE BASIC NUMBERS

Let's start with how to find your size. You can find the same advice all over the internet, with one variance - the band measurement.

First, you will need some tools - a soft tape measure (not the metal kind you use in the garage), your most comfortable bra, a pad and paper, and a friend. You can do this on your own, but having a friend makes it easier and can give more accurate measurements.

Step 1 - Wearing your comfy bra, take your band measurement. The tape measure should lie flat against your ribcage, just under your breasts where the band is. This is where your friend comes in. She (or he) can see the numbers better and make sure the tape is horizontal around your torso. Write down your measurement.

Now this is where different sites and people will differ. Some say to add 3 inches, or even 5 inches to the measurement you just got around your torso. I say, take the number you have. If it's an odd number, round up. There is no need to add inches to get your band size. For example, I measure a 33 around my rib cage, and wear a 34 band.

Step 2 - Time to measure your bust. This is the hardest part to do on your own. The tape measure should rest on the fullest part of your bust, over the bra. This is often right over the nipples. Again, it should stay horizontal around your torso. Write down your measurement. To continue my example, my bust measurement is about 43 inches.

Step 3 - Time for math. Subtract your band number from your bust number. This will tell you your general cup size. It's pretty simple. For each inch difference, you go up a cup size. Start at A for 1 inch. My bust measurement, 43, minus my band measurement of 34, is a difference of 9 inches.

Now it gets tricky. You may look at a size chart on a website and say, "Wow, a 9 inch difference is an I/DDDDDD/G/H/FF cup!" Different sites cater to different brands, and there is no standard. US brands offten can't seem to get past the letter D. They will just add more Ds to make bigger sizes. Some European brands just follow a nice straight alphabet. In the UK, they have a different chart: A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, FF, G, GG, H, HH, and on from there. That is, most UK brands.

You see, there is no standard for labeling bra sizes. According to the UK cup sizes, I am a G cup. This holds true for most UK brands.

Let's try another. Say we have a young woman who measures a 32 band and 36 bust. With a difference of 4 inches, this puts her at a D cup. A nice round D that has the same place on all cup charts.

HIT THE RACKS

We got a base size to start with. That's right, you went through all that measuring and math and confusion for a starting point. Not all bras are the same. Since I make such a great example, let's continue. I wear my measured size, 34G, in my favorite UK brand. In other brands I wear a 34H (they didn't have the GG), or a 34FF. Bands can also differ sometimes, depending on brand and material. Strapless bras are often made with sturdier fabrics, and you may find yourself going up a band size. It can be frustrating, but I highly recommend trying on a bra before purchase. Most store clerks are familiar with the products they carry and can help you find a decent fit.

What about sports bras? We'll save that for another time. They can be an entirely different story with factors such as fabric, level of support, and compression versus separation.

MAKE SURE IT FITS

Now that you are in the dressing room, how do you know if the bra actually fits? Fortunately, I've never seen anyone disagree on these points. First and foremost, the bra should be comfortable. Never settle for an uncomfortable bra, no matter how pretty it is.

The band should fit snuggly, and rest horizontally around your torso. If the band starts to ride up in the back, it's too big. If the band pinches, it's too small. You should be able to easily slide 1 or 2 fingers under the band. Remember that 90% of your support comes from the band, so it needs to fit, preferrably on the loosest hook.

The cups should do as their name says, cup the breast. Once you have the bra on, lean forward and wiggle the bra into place. You may need to actually lift the breast into the cup - just scoop up the breast in one hand and set it into the cup. Now test it. Bounce, jump, and jiggle. Lift up your arms. Do you see breast peeking out anywhere? Check the sides, the tops, and under the band. If you see breast peeking out, go up a cup size. If you see wrinkling fabric, loose fabric, any extra fabric, try going down a cup size.

The straps are only 10% of your support. If they fall off your shoulder, tighten them. These shouldn't pinch or put undo pressure on your shoulders.

The center of the bra, where the cups meet, should rest flat against your chest. I used to think this was just a myth until I started wearing a G cup. A little bit of space, about 1 finger, is ok, but the center should touch your chest. If the center is farther away from your chest, you need a larger cup size.

GET SOME HELP

Women should not be afraid to get a professional fitting. They may know some tips or tricks that you haven't learned yet. Some department stores have fitters in their lingerie departments. You can also now host your own bra party in your home. Have your girlfriends over, take turns being professionally fitted, and even order bras from someone who knows how to fit you into the brands they are selling.

There are many online sites selling bras as well, but be careful of their return policies. Many people will order a couple sizes and try to return the ones that don't fit, so make sure you fully understand the return policy before ordering, or you could be stuck wtih the same bra in multiple sizes.

If you are having trouble finding your size in stores, don't give up! This is also where a professional can help. Ask around, look online, and you will find your size. Please, do not settle for the wrong size of bra! Your chest will thank you.